Friday, October 28, 2016

Samsung Dead at Age Eleven

One of the oldest working cell phones in western New York has died. The small Samsung SCH-a670 flip phone was placed into service on June 4, 2005 and has been with the same family ever since. As the first cell phone of a fifteen-year-old boy, the Samsung's early life was active with calls, text messages, pix messages, and games. Two years later, when the college-bound boy upgraded to a larger, more modern LG enV, the Samsung took an early retirement and lived quietly in a secluded area of the home. After a period of rest and relaxation, the now mature Samsung was pressed back into service as the phone of the senior-most family member, who never asked more of the phone that it could offer. He didn't expect it to take great pictures or connect to the internet; he wasn't interested in tweeting or snapping, so the now-outdated flip phone suited him well. For its part, the Samsung eventually got used to being tucked into the pocket of the old schoolteacher's bag rather than being shoved into the pocket of an active teenager. It got used to the silence. It accepted the fact that it would be turned off much of the time. And when the owner needed to make an occasional phone call or receive an even-more-occasional text message, the trusty Samsung could be counted on to respond cheerfully and reliably. Alas, it was in the aforementioned schoolbag that the Samsung met its end. No one noticed the loose cap on the lemonade bottle in the teacher's lunch bag, and it was hours before the Samsung was discovered in a pool of sticky liquid. All efforts were made to save the life of this faithful device, but the damage was too great. Text messages of condolence may be sent to the owner via the Samsung's successor, a snazzy new LG  VX8360. (Just don't expect a reply, as the heartbroken owner has neither the will nor the know-how to text back.)

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